Throughout many posts one will find certain icons popping up. They link to this page. These are indicators of actions, events, or activity that is directly related to one of my areas of development toward a healthier me.

My Total Wellness Program is divided up into five areas. Following the oriental phases or movements—wood, fire, earth, metal, and water—the Program focuses on developing an equilibrium (as opposed to strict balance) of all areas of life in harmony with each other area.

Wood	Fire	Earth	Metal	Water
Birth	Growth	Maturity	Dispersal	Death
Assertion/ Gentleness	Imagination/ Compassion	Groundedness/ Reflection	Letting-go/ Openness	Willpower/ Adaptability
Outward	Upward	Grounded	Inward	Downward
Social	Spiritual[1]	Physical	Emotional	Psycho-sexual

There is no strict mind/body/soul type breakdown here as with most Western systems. This is more about equilibrium and harmony than separation and individualized parts of a human being. But nonetheless some very clear aspects can be seen here that can be used as models for individualized work and progress and I have listed those as I see them in the last row of the table above. Using this breakdown, I have developed a set of mutable goals that will evolve over time and as specific milestones are met[2].

Wood Goals are quite simply about social interactions, social anxiety, and continued social expansion in my life. Such activities and goals include:

• to have at least one evening/night per month to myself to stay at home alone, go out alone, go out with friends, do something that involves a lack of computer but includes either personal time with myself and my own activities or activities with other real human beings—and learning the difference in the two types of time[3];
• to have at least two evenings/nights per month with someone special—defined variously as a “Significant Other” or significant friend with whom I can relate on a more personal level than merely gossip level conversation (or any of the above on a rotating basis)—that involves a lack of computer or other extraneous interferences[4];
• to continue my current church exploration to find a religious community in which I feel at home and comfortable for myself and my family[5];
• to learn communication skills that includes the ability to clearly and without inhibition make my personal needs and desires known when appropriate and includes the ability to listen carefully and with an open mind to the same in return from others.

Fire Goals are about spiritual clarity, expansion, and conviction in my life. Such activities and goals include:

• to be a part of a religious community that provides me with the resources, contacts, and opportunity to expand my knowledge while offering avenues of service to the community;
• to continue to pursue and achieve my goals of education and religious exploration on as many fronts as I can establish while keeping a reasonable pace with my abilities, talents, and resources;
• to develop a spiritual devotional program for myself that leads to the creation of a more robust and healthy approach to thelemic liturgy, and to return to an active pursuit and manifestation of thelemic virtues as I understand them;
• to work toward providing multiple avenues of basic and healthy spiritual perspectives for my son without necessarily persuading him in any specific direction.

Earth Goals are about health, wealth, and stability in my life. Such activities and goals include:

• to continue to return to a healthy weight while building myself up in the image that I perceive of the divinity within me;
• to change my diet to be compatible with my commitment to a sustainable future for my children and to fit within a reasonable expectation of my resources and personal preferences[6];
• to further define what is reasonable on a financial level for more than merely the survival of my family but to establish financial independence and security;
• to pursue a career within my chosen field and push to find relevant employment when financially feasible.

Metal Goals are about mental and emotional health in my life. Such activities and goals include:

• to invest in reading at least one book per quarter[7];
• to seek professional mental and emotional health advice on building up my self-esteem and rebuilding my confidence in myself and my goals;
• to be open to rebuilding trust in others and realize that with trust comes the possibility of betrayal—and to be willing to take that chance anyway;
• to work through my angry and emotionally controlling behavior toward a more reasonable and responsible behavior for my son and my personal relationships.

Water Goals are about psycho-sexual development, exploration, and confidence in my life. Such activities and goals include:

• to rebuild a healthy sexual response to intimate relationships;
• to explore further my inhibitions and desires on a level that is open, honest, tolerant, and responsible for both myself and others with whom I may be involved;
• to resolve certain hang-ups that I may have involving past relationships, past experiences, and future possibilities;
• to determine and seek out an experience with which I have never been intimately acquainted[8].

These are not merely milestones or goals on a one-year program. Many of them, if not pretty much all of them, are life-long pursuits that require commitment, dedication, and drive to accomplish and then maintain. But that’s it. I mean, that’s the outline. I think it’s ambitious, but I also think that I have it down—in my head, at least—as something that isn’t about specific goals per se but about each area of life beginning to feed off other areas and build up other areas as well. It is about a total wellness rather than merely a diet or merely a shrink.

It is about a total life change that starts out with the basics and keeps on rolling over the discarded bones of both past success and past failure.

innervox

1. This might be more accurately termed Spirito-Epistemological since I consider my mental/knowledge faculties to be intimately tied up with my spirituality. [↩]
2. I haven’t created the milestones quite yet, but I’m working on finalizing how I want to approach this overall. But, generally, my goals follow a pattern of growth, maturity, and expansion of expression. The following is not complete, but merely some random thoughts that may or may not remain when I finalize my initial goals during the rest of 2008. Some of these, of course, I will be working on already. Many of these will have to be reformed in more objective and reasonable ways, but these are, as I said, general or overall goals that I have brainstormed as what I want out of life and for my life. In order to achieve many of them, they will need to be defined in achievable steps. But, for now, these will do as examples. [↩]
3. The point here being time outside of the standard “family” ties but within whatever acceptable boundaries I happen to find myself. [↩]
4. Though should I suddenly take up “gaming” then the obvious needs of resources overrides the specific constraints here. [↩]
5. However “family” may be defined over time. [↩]
6. This means that I probably will not go strictly vegetarian, but I can minimize many things that I eat or pay the extra for the food materials that are established as more environmentally friendly. The cost increase alone will minimize such consumption thereby furthering my personal goals without necessarily forbidding anything at all. [↩]
7. Given my school and work schedule along with other current personal responsibilities, this is reasonable even if on the light side of things. [↩]
8. This may actually be difficult to do for me, but I think it really is something that I need to do for many reasons, the least of which is to break through the sense (or lack of sensation) of monotonous appetites and repetitive behavior. [↩]